A crash course onto becoming a cricket expert

Well, we all know (atleast 120 crore Indians know) that commenting on a cricket match is no rocket science. We all do it so much and so often in our living rooms. This post will help you elevate a couple of notches and become a cricket expert on SET MAX for the IPL coverage. Apart from the usual “That is a beautiful shot”, “Up, Up and over”, “In the air and taken”, etc, there might be a few tricky situations which a cricket expert might encounter. Here are a few dialogues memorizing which will help you sail through any situation, still assuring your viewers that you are indeed more knowledgeable than them.

On the eve of every game, memorize these words.

It is a high pressure game. So, bat first, put up a big score and then put the opposition under pressure

Though this might usually sound suitable only to series deciding matches, making these statements will reduce the guilt of a few viewers who have bunked their classes or jobs to watch a redundant cricket match.

Form is temporary, class is permanent

He is just one knock away from hitting the right notes

He is too good a player to fail repeatedly

We all know when experts make this statement. They make it just to save themselves from the embarrassment just in case that player plays well in that particular match. Their guess about that player is as good as any of yours.

They should take it one game at a time

Well, make this statement when you want to sound like a chief strategist of the team. It doesn’t matter even if the team has hardly heard your name.

The atmosphere at the stadium is electric

Make this when the broadcasters or the organizers have paid you money to say goody goody things about the match. If this is not the case, use it when the home team has lost the match, hoping that this statement might make them hate you less for your presentation ceremony speech.

The key is to pick up some early wickets

When the team which batted first have played pathetically and have no chance of winning the match.

Ball will come onto the bat initially, but as the game progresses, it gets slower and lower

One sentence pitch report which works everywhere in the world (ok, everywhere in India, Pakistan, Srilanka, Bangladesh, West Indies). With this, you can never be wrong.

He is one of the cleanest strikers of the cricket ball

Well. When a heavily built guy slogs at a hapless bowler and the ball obviously sails into the crowd, much to the horror of purists.

He doesn’t drop many. He has got a safe pair of hands

When a fielder takes a dolly. Leave alone him dropping the catch, even you wouldn’t drop such catches.